Daily Opinion: Why So Serious?

You know what I love? Sitting at home with my fiancé and watching movies while partaking in Cheez-Its and wine.

Classy, right?

You know what I don’t love? Hopping onto the internet and reading about a guy in Copenhagen who was murdered at a free speech seminar.

I never used to read the news. EVER. I was blissfully ignorant of all the silly nonsense going on in the world. I didn’t know anything about global conflicts, politics, or world economics. I didn’t care. But now I’m older and I know how awesome it is to be at peace. I know how awesome it is to just chill back with some Cheez-Its and wine

Awesome and delicious.

Then I asked myself, “If life could be so awesome, why can’t everyone else figure it out?” I started watch the news and documentaries. I started reading. I observed. And you know what I discovered?

People are f**king crazy. Of the bat s**t variety, no less.

Who cares if someone makes fun of the precious Prophet Muhammad? Who cares if a guy wants to stick his penis up another man’s butt? Who cares about the level of melanin in a person’s skin? Who cares if a person wants to smoke marijuana to relax instead of tobacco that’s laced with chemicals? Who cares if a woman wants to sleep with as many people as she wants? Why does anyone care about any of this stuff enough to hate, argue, murder, and discriminate?

Everyone just chill the f**k out and have some Cheez-Its and wine.

The end.

Previously: Science Will/May Always Be Incomplete